I am a person who has struggled with suicidal ideation. I probably will for the rest of my life.
At the same time, I am trying my best to live what I feel is a life that's worthy of continuing.
Making video games has really helped me not feel suicidal. At GDC when I presented my game, a group of men came up and laughed and pointed at my while playing it.
I thought I would be ashamed and horrified but I found I respected myself enough that I did not give a fuck.
I hope one day, instead of caring about what random people are doing on the internet and having to hurt them, you find your community and dreams that are worth pursuing.
It's tough but I hope you can find value without caring about what others are doing. There are billions of people in the world and it isn't realistic to expect to like all of them.
Exactly! People have an in-group, out-group sort of mentality, that's why we have so much separation beyond trans people! Some people find joy in harming others, and find reasons to justify this harm!
This game gave me feels.. as a trans person myself, I relate so much to the main character. The people on the bus were genuinely kind, but I agree with the main character on wanting to be perceived as cis. Thank you for making this game, it was fun to play <3
I'm surprised the game said I was misgendered because I had a very nice time on the bus. People saw in me traits they envied and traits they didn't, and ultimately showed empathy and compassion.
I really connected to the protag in ending #1. I'm a trans guy and I'm always wondering if other people clock me. I used to struggle to leave the house every day because of it. But ending #1 reminds me of why I transitioned. Not to be comfortable for the view of other people, but to be comfortable in myself. Maybe I can be a little bit of a burden on other people sometimes if it means that I can be alive and not a ghost in this world. What a lovely gem of a game.
I still struggle with that stuff and sometimes I worry even allies don't really gender me in their head properly but ultimately it was for myself.
I agree that it's important to live as a person and not as a ghost even if that can be scary and painful when the world isn't accepting or even sees us in the right way.
Anyways thank you so much for stopping by, commenting, and even playing my game. I hope you have a wonderful day. Your comment meant a lot to me.
Basically in the game's code if you get misgendered by even one person it triggers ending 1. The other endings are triggered by not getting misgendered or having no one gender you.
As someone early in the process who is still far from passing, it was so sad to be misgendered in this game too! :( Eventually I got ending 2, then even ending 3! I hope I experience those endings in real life one day! :)
I am sorry about it hurting. I tried to make the game as gentle as possible because being misgendered hurts. It has always hurt me and it probably always will on different levels of sting. I have days where I experience all of the different endings and I think many trans people will go through that too. I am still glad I got to transition and I hope that your transition brings you whatever you are seeking too.
Good luck and I hope when I finish my next game you consider stopping by again.
The concept of someone wondering if they pass or not is so completely alien to me since I don't look even 0,0000001% female so I know for a fact that I could never pass. I'm too lazy to play this game so I rate it nothing/nothing
I found a weird secret thing that told me it has a 1/100 chance of appearing and then it gave me glitter but the glitter fell because ghosts can't hold glitter.
I played this game earlier today while working and it’s stuck with me all day! I can’t remember the last time i was misgendered but I still get anxious affff on the bus assuming people are staring at me lol - this was a fun way to live that out. Thank you for making this!!
Yeah, I get really anxious in public worrying about how people gender me. I wanted to turn that experience into something fun so I'm glad you enjoyed playing it. Thank you!
I'm confused since I got an ending where she said she didn't pass, but everyone I looked at called her she and referred to her as a girl, so that means she did pass. Is this an error???
Not what i expected, but i wasn't sure what to expect and it was certainly emotionaly, i had the not pass ending first and i was overwhelmed by so much uncertainty, and then i had the pass ending and i felt better, i was not expecting this from a game, super well done and thank you, i am very inspired by the narrative and depth of the character. Praise! Praise! Praise!
The Misgendered ending was actually kind of nice, I thought it was good to have some representation of someone who deals with "not passing" since a lot of people deal with that. Having the character realize that, but also having them realize that they didn't do it for other people seemed like it could help a lot of people with their own insecurities whether related to this or not. Very well done
Honestly, this is a great game and it just goes to show how much we worry about being accepted by other people we don't even know and will probably never see again. It also shows that some people are just too worried about what is in others' pants.
I don't understand. I didn't have anyone misgender the main character in the story... like sure people could tell she was trans but the closest was "I think she used to be a man"
Edit; overall really great game with a wonderful message
Yaaaay I got all (?) 3 endings! When I read the comments and noticed someone mentioning Ending 3, I knew I had to try getting it too. And I loved it! Sounds like the perfect ending to me, especially since I'm nonbinary so that's exactly what I wish for... thank you for this interesting little game!
I'm still not sure about my gender fully but sometimes just knowing people are too busy living their lives to really notice makes it easier to just breathe and exist.
Anyways thank you for playing this multiple times to get all the endings.
i really like this game. i played it before starting to transition and then again after the first time someone told me i passed perfectly (after i tried my best not to care about it and having no idea whether i did). we really are there being seen by other people huh
not gonna lie i was really surprised when the main character said "i don't pass". i think i was expecting worse thoughts. i actually like that, feels like im probably going to be fine
I can't speak for your life but as someone who doesn't pass all the time, I am fine.
My life is still livable and has value.
Passing and it's closely related concept of being attractive do matter a lot but there is also a lot to life other than those things even if that can be hard to see sometimes.
yeah. i'm not really concerned with passing, it's just that i got this general fear of rejection yknow, and while i was playing i kept thinking "these thoughts are not that bad" (not as bad as some intrusive thoughts i've had) and "if this is how most people think then i've probably got nothing to worry about". that's why i was surprised, when i thought i got the "bad ending", because it was a good ending for me.
anyway, i see now it isn't really a game with "good" and "bad" endings. sorry if my comments were a bit heavy... i thought your game was really nice!
I liked the part at the end about transitioning for yourself and not other people. It's something I've been turning over in my head for a while. My biggest fears around transitioning are "what will other people think?" But I have an even bigger fear of not transitioning and like you said, hating myself for the rest of my life.
Also it's nice to know other people sit and wonder if their cats miss them.
Thank you so much for playing this game. Transitioning and what other people think is really scary. The limits of what transitioning can do are also super scary. At the same time, living your life on your terms and values is what matters the most at the end of the day.
I hope that things work out for you and you get to live a life on your terms without that hatred.
This game is absolutely gorgeous. I'm not transgender, but it really helped me see into the eyes of a trans person. I hope I can be more considerate of trans & non binary people.
With the newly released Analogue Pocket, and the newest update for GB Studios, are you planning to publish the .pocket version of this game? I’d love to be able to play this on my Pocket, so I hope so!
I am sorry about the delay in contacting you. I was working on another gameboy game.
When I ran this version of GB studio it messed up the creation of my current game so I decided to wait on this for a bit.
If I sent you the files would you be willing to port my game for me to the pocket? I tried but it caused problems with all the GB studio versions and files I have floating around.
(Also thank you for your hard work doing this, I really am sorry I didn't reply. I just needed to focus on my next game at the time.)
Hello, Maybe it doesn't works because you are not using GB Studio 2? If it the case, maybe you use the version 1.x, I also have done a patched version of the 1.x (It was not the case when I sent you the previous message). https://github.com/BestPig/gb-studio/releases/tag/v1.2.2-1-analogue
But if you send me files and the exact version of GB Studio you are using, I will port it with pleasure ;).
I really wish that I could make a build for the analogue pocket. Unfortunately due to technical differences between the versions of GB studio it is more complex than that.
I would recommend using a flash cart to play the game instead.
There are a ton of great indie games available for GB flash carts.
Though I cannot do a .pocket file for this game, my next gb game will have a .pocket build.
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Thank you for playing this game.
I think regardless of passing or not or even being ignored there is a ton of value in existing within your gender stuff.
thanks for making this game <3
I think we'll both get there one day ⚧
I hope we both make it, thank you so much. :)
Kill yourself tranny faggot
You only got one slur right LMFAO 💀 I'll give you a 1/10, unoriginal, doesn't give a reason as to why they should.
this game is the reason why he should kys
I think the character in the game ISN’T the creator lmao
I am a person who has struggled with suicidal ideation. I probably will for the rest of my life.
At the same time, I am trying my best to live what I feel is a life that's worthy of continuing.
Making video games has really helped me not feel suicidal. At GDC when I presented my game, a group of men came up and laughed and pointed at my while playing it.
I thought I would be ashamed and horrified but I found I respected myself enough that I did not give a fuck.
I hope one day, instead of caring about what random people are doing on the internet and having to hurt them, you find your community and dreams that are worth pursuing.
It's tough but I hope you can find value without caring about what others are doing. There are billions of people in the world and it isn't realistic to expect to like all of them.
Ty for telling me this! I'll try my best
jfc. transphobes be normal challenge starting rn!!
Dude, that's unfairly impossible for transphobic people to just be normal about trans people's existence
Sometimes I think there are some people who just can't be happy unless they're hurting others.
I think hurting other people is just idk their way to have fun. I'm not sure what can be done about it. x_x
There are billions of people but some people can't tolerate a tiny sliver but idk.
All I can do is just work on the next game and do what I can to make the world more okay.
Exactly! People have an in-group, out-group sort of mentality, that's why we have so much separation beyond trans people! Some people find joy in harming others, and find reasons to justify this harm!
Yeah it's weird like some people just really enjoy hurting stuff. There's a lot of intellectualizing of that pleasure bleh.
God, I'm so tired.
What a miserable life you must live.
You know you could just... Not interact with the game?
This game gave me feels.. as a trans person myself, I relate so much to the main character. The people on the bus were genuinely kind, but I agree with the main character on wanting to be perceived as cis. Thank you for making this game, it was fun to play <3
I'm surprised the game said I was misgendered because I had a very nice time on the bus. People saw in me traits they envied and traits they didn't, and ultimately showed empathy and compassion.
i got the same ending and wondered the same thing lol
The way the game works mechanically is that the main character doesn't want for people to perceive her as transgender.
So even if people are nice she doesn't want people to be able to "tell" she is trans. That is why the misgender ending occurred.
To the main character in this game passing is people not being able to tell you are trans.
Thank you for playing my game.
I liked this.
Ending 3 is the one I try to carry into daily life. It is hard not to end up feeling #1 though.
All of the endings happen to me even now in like the same day.
Sometimes within minutes of each other but idk, sometimes it's really hard. I try to keep ending 3 in mind and it helps.
Anyways I know I sound like a broken record but thank you for playing my game. It makes me really happy to hear someone got something out of my game.
I really connected to the protag in ending #1. I'm a trans guy and I'm always wondering if other people clock me. I used to struggle to leave the house every day because of it. But ending #1 reminds me of why I transitioned. Not to be comfortable for the view of other people, but to be comfortable in myself. Maybe I can be a little bit of a burden on other people sometimes if it means that I can be alive and not a ghost in this world. What a lovely gem of a game.
Thank you for your comment.
What you said was really beautiful.
I still struggle with that stuff and sometimes I worry even allies don't really gender me in their head properly but ultimately it was for myself.
I agree that it's important to live as a person and not as a ghost even if that can be scary and painful when the world isn't accepting or even sees us in the right way.
Anyways thank you so much for stopping by, commenting, and even playing my game. I hope you have a wonderful day. Your comment meant a lot to me.
Really enjoyed this experience. I thought about my own reactions in that bus.
Thank you so much for playing my game, I'm really happy you had fun.
It's wonderful to hear from people who enjoyed my games.
Are you okay?
Basically in the game's code if you get misgendered by even one person it triggers ending 1.
The other endings are triggered by not getting misgendered or having no one gender you.
I was just getting vibes that you were genuinely really upset so I was worried.
I am glad you are okay.
No.
As someone early in the process who is still far from passing, it was so sad to be misgendered in this game too! :( Eventually I got ending 2, then even ending 3! I hope I experience those endings in real life one day! :)
I am sorry about it hurting. I tried to make the game as gentle as possible because being misgendered hurts. It has always hurt me and it probably always will on different levels of sting. I have days where I experience all of the different endings and I think many trans people will go through that too. I am still glad I got to transition and I hope that your transition brings you whatever you are seeking too.
Good luck and I hope when I finish my next game you consider stopping by again.
The concept of someone wondering if they pass or not is so completely alien to me since I don't look even 0,0000001% female so I know for a fact that I could never pass. I'm too lazy to play this game so I rate it nothing/nothing
I found a weird secret thing that told me it has a 1/100 chance of appearing and then it gave me glitter but the glitter fell because ghosts can't hold glitter.
Great game btw! Simple but meaningful.
I am amazed that you found the secret cameo character. That's like an ultra rare secret that almost no one ever finds.
I usually sneak in secrets into my games so that I can feel as if there is are mysteries only I know as a developer.
It's weird but even if no one knows, I know and it makes me happy wondering if anyone will ever find it.
I do that too!
I played this game earlier today while working and it’s stuck with me all day! I can’t remember the last time i was misgendered but I still get anxious affff on the bus assuming people are staring at me lol - this was a fun way to live that out. Thank you for making this!!
Yeah, I get really anxious in public worrying about how people gender me. I wanted to turn that experience into something fun so I'm glad you enjoyed playing it. Thank you!
NO YOU DON'T PASS
YOU DIE
So, does she pass on? Anyways, I have no idea what you mean by that comment imo
Nice input, sussyamongusred. No one asked
where is it. the 3rd ending. i've tried like how many times and still its either pass or misgendered. i need help yall/
Some of the people on the bus don't notice you at all.
Oh god, I'm sorry I missed this. Yup, try talking to only the people on the bus who don't notice you.
The third ending is not getting gendered at all.
I'm confused since I got an ending where she said she didn't pass, but everyone I looked at called her she and referred to her as a girl, so that means she did pass. Is this an error???
No, the pass is not "pass as a trans girl", it's pass as not trans
Not what i expected, but i wasn't sure what to expect and it was certainly emotionaly, i had the not pass ending first and i was overwhelmed by so much uncertainty, and then i had the pass ending and i felt better, i was not expecting this from a game, super well done and thank you, i am very inspired by the narrative and depth of the character. Praise! Praise! Praise!
This was a lot more emotional than I thought it was going to be, and I am here for it! This was a great game. Thank you.
The Misgendered ending was actually kind of nice, I thought it was good to have some representation of someone who deals with "not passing" since a lot of people deal with that. Having the character realize that, but also having them realize that they didn't do it for other people seemed like it could help a lot of people with their own insecurities whether related to this or not. Very well done
im ftm and have been out for 10 years and still get these feelings some days <3 this was really good
I absolutely love this
A short and sweet game
no.
? what do you mean by no? Was the game bad or did you mean something else??
yes.
Here's my video.
This made me cry, in a good way. I can very much relate to this. Especially with riding the bus.
Honestly, this is a great game and it just goes to show how much we worry about being accepted by other people we don't even know and will probably never see again. It also shows that some people are just too worried about what is in others' pants.
I don't understand. I didn't have anyone misgender the main character in the story... like sure people could tell she was trans but the closest was "I think she used to be a man"
Edit; overall really great game with a wonderful message
I'm a transwoman
okay, this was so lovely! thanks for letting me look more into the mind of a trans person:)
Honestly, the least-expected ending is probably the happiest. I suppose that makes sense. Sometimes it's best not to stand out at all.
I love this, and appreciate the message. The insight is invaluable, so thank you.
Yaaaay I got all (?) 3 endings! When I read the comments and noticed someone mentioning Ending 3, I knew I had to try getting it too. And I loved it! Sounds like the perfect ending to me, especially since I'm nonbinary so that's exactly what I wish for... thank you for this interesting little game!
Ending 3 is my favorite ending.
I'm still not sure about my gender fully but sometimes just knowing people are too busy living their lives to really notice makes it easier to just breathe and exist.
Anyways thank you for playing this multiple times to get all the endings.
i really like this game. i played it before starting to transition and then again after the first time someone told me i passed perfectly (after i tried my best not to care about it and having no idea whether i did). we really are there being seen by other people huh
Yup. (I know I should add more but there isn't much beyond this to say. It's true.)
I really liked this, It was interesting and I liked the way it looked and the ending scenes. (Got all 3) <3
Wow, some of those endings are really difficult to get! I'm glad you had fun! :)
not gonna lie i was really surprised when the main character said "i don't pass". i think i was expecting worse thoughts. i actually like that, feels like im probably going to be fine
I can't speak for your life but as someone who doesn't pass all the time, I am fine.
My life is still livable and has value.
Passing and it's closely related concept of being attractive do matter a lot but there is also a lot to life other than those things even if that can be hard to see sometimes.
yeah. i'm not really concerned with passing, it's just that i got this general fear of rejection yknow, and while i was playing i kept thinking "these thoughts are not that bad" (not as bad as some intrusive thoughts i've had) and "if this is how most people think then i've probably got nothing to worry about". that's why i was surprised, when i thought i got the "bad ending", because it was a good ending for me.
anyway, i see now it isn't really a game with "good" and "bad" endings. sorry if my comments were a bit heavy... i thought your game was really nice!
A lot of that makes sense. I've had some pretty dark thoughts about passing too.
I'm glad you're okay, there is nothing to be sorry about. Thank you for stopping by! :)
I agree
I've been stuck in this game for years now! Please help! /j
That's the longest bus ride ever.
(Also this is the sweetest comment, thank you!)
I liked the part at the end about transitioning for yourself and not other people. It's something I've been turning over in my head for a while. My biggest fears around transitioning are "what will other people think?" But I have an even bigger fear of not transitioning and like you said, hating myself for the rest of my life.
Also it's nice to know other people sit and wonder if their cats miss them.
Thank you for this game :)
Thank you so much for playing this game. Transitioning and what other people think is really scary. The limits of what transitioning can do are also super scary. At the same time, living your life on your terms and values is what matters the most at the end of the day.
I hope that things work out for you and you get to live a life on your terms without that hatred.
This game is absolutely gorgeous. I'm not transgender, but it really helped me see into the eyes of a trans person. I hope I can be more considerate of trans & non binary people.
Thank you for playing my game, I am glad it meant something to you.
Thank you for making this game. Is there just two endings, or is there more, and I couldn't get those?
There are three endings:
Passing
Not Passing
Not being gendered.
Also hi! I've been looking at your stuff and it's all really really good.
Thank you <3
Hello,
With the newly released Analogue Pocket, and the newest update for GB Studios, are you planning to publish the .pocket version of this game? I’d love to be able to play this on my Pocket, so I hope so!
Hi, I tried transferring the game to the latest version of GB studio.
Unfortunately as the game was made in a very early version of GB studio it broke in a ton of weird ways once transferred.
In order to make the game work properly I would have to remake it from scratch.
I created a fork a GB Studio 2 that export natively game in pocket format.
https://github.com/BestPig/gb-studio#analogue-pocket-export
So it should be easy to port your game without the pain of migrating to GB Studio 3.0 if you have done it with GB Studio 2.0.
But you probably have done it with GB Studio 1.0, so I don't know if migrating to 1.0 -> 2.0 also break a lots of stuff.
If its not working, I still can port your game to Analogue Pocket manually if you want. Just tell me.
Hi,
I am sorry about the delay in contacting you. I was working on another gameboy game.
When I ran this version of GB studio it messed up the creation of my current game so I decided to wait on this for a bit.
If I sent you the files would you be willing to port my game for me to the pocket? I tried but it caused problems with all the GB studio versions and files I have floating around.
(Also thank you for your hard work doing this, I really am sorry I didn't reply. I just needed to focus on my next game at the time.)
Hello,
Maybe it doesn't works because you are not using GB Studio 2?
If it the case, maybe you use the version 1.x, I also have done a patched version of the 1.x (It was not the case when I sent you the previous message).
https://github.com/BestPig/gb-studio/releases/tag/v1.2.2-1-analogue
But if you send me files and the exact version of GB Studio you are using, I will port it with pleasure ;).
Hi,
Do you have an email address I could send the files to?
Taylor
Looks awesome! Can you build this for Analogue Pocket? Thanks!
I really wish that I could make a build for the analogue pocket. Unfortunately due to technical differences between the versions of GB studio it is more complex than that.
I would recommend using a flash cart to play the game instead.
There are a ton of great indie games available for GB flash carts.
Though I cannot do a .pocket file for this game, my next gb game will have a .pocket build.
Thanks so much!
this is special
Thank you, that means a lot.
Currently Wink lives in my gameboy so idk it's cool to see you stop by.
That makes me very happy. I just put out a big update btw
Whoa! I'll go ahead and load the new version onto my flashcart now. :)
awesome 😀 would love to hear your thoughts