this was a really interesting medium to portray such a story in, it makes the whole thing feel very intimate. i dont think i have the language for how i felt playing this. thank you, this will stay with me for a while.
for how simple the graphics and the structure of the game was, it's incredibly in-depth.
im sorry you experienced the world like this. thank you for making this and sharing your experiences i hope you heal from the things that you've been through
It doesn't really matter what my views are on this game or your story, in the end, you were hurt, badly hurt, by the disgusting desires of men, by the broken system of capitalism, everything was pitted against you and it broke you.
To feel nothing, to want to feel pain, to not know if it was even rape you experienced, all these things are devastatingly underwhelming results of any kind of sexual abuse. The human mind is fragile, when it comes to sex, most animalistic men think of it as a fucking game, like some kind of arcade where all you do is score points and get highscores or some shit, but in reality the human mind seriously questions all the implications of sex, and this level of corruption and mysoginy and barbarism, followed by the most dystopian normalization of it, it is too much for the human mind.
i played this on my snes with super gameboy. i was testing different indie games to see how they look on real hardware, but only this one i completed or remember.
a form of interactive diary that wouldn't hit the same with a different subject. much more than just a song or a script or some scribbles, this is a truly new style of self-expression.
god i dont know how to describe how i feel into words after playing this im afab but i identify as genderless not that that matters but weve experienced the same thing in different ways playing this made me feel seen im sorry you had to go through what you did i hope your safer and happier now
This one will sit with me for a while. Thank you for making this. Edit: Got a lot of thoughts but I think that if I try to share them it'll just end up being a wall of text, so I'll just say: Thank you for making this. I was inherently opposed to sex work before this due to knowing how many people who do it are SA survivors and this didn't exactly make me more positively inclined towards it.
I can totally relate to Sally before she came back. I've been through family conflict trauma, with lots of unslept days of battle. Trying to find even an hour of sleep during christmas to new year battle with knife in hand. My older brother drug and porn addict, my both parents total alcoholics.
At the same time I was bullied in elementary school and more than bullied in middle school. 1v10 I would say.
I went into sex working once at 17 then a few times at 18 but my conservative mind told me to develop skills and don't do it just to live like a vegetable, but to grab an oportunity and leave it as soon as possible. I had boundaries that I only do blowjob and maybe receive one. Nothing less, nothing more. 2 years later (1 year after high school) I started to earn the same money per hour as technician as I did for blowjobs. I followed paths of stoicism and taoism. Nothing can hurt me anymore, even breakup with the girlfriend I got at 19yrs who saved me from my family and will help me create a new one. Still, I sometimes desire going an easy path of getting money through sex or getting transitioned and live like I always wanted to, but then I realize, repent and leave, knowing that it's a fake temptation. Now I begin to heal my family, but I know it's a long path. Probably will never happen, but there is always hope
I also remember having same kind of emotional reactions at 6-12 years of age as you did in being grossed out and all or wanting more and more sugar. My brother also did but through his whole life (he is 30+ now). It always crosses my mind. My reaction was beating myself with full power or scrathing myself to blood, not leaving my body. Learn and improve. Reject fake emotionally enslaved freedom of action that average mind implies on you, embrace real freedom. Freedom of thought and thoughtful actions
That is my advice to you and anyone who maybe skipped this in life. Study at least 100h of philosophy, especially classical greek, roman, chinese books and then practice it for life
This tore into my brain. Viciously touching. I hope you have all you can need now. I hope you feel more whole, take good care of yourself, and give yourself the space you need on hard days to handle this battle with patience. Best regards, Taylor.
Wow, your story made me very sad, but I understand that nothing is your fault or anyone else's, may your life be glorious, God bless you. amen Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you healed me. Lord, you brought me out of the grave; about to go down to the grave, you brought me back to life. Psalms 30:2-3
The way you used the medium of a minimalist walking simulator-style game to convey your experiences and the emotions you were feeling at the time was just... incredible. I felt gutted playing through this. I don't know how much the words of a stranger on the internet really mean, but this is a very powerful game, and I'm sorry that you've gone through all of this, and for how difficult and painful it's been to talk about it to others. I hope that creating this game has provided even a little outlet for processing everything, and I hope that things will only improve for you. You are always worthy of love.
I'm a young transfem with no traumatic experiences so I can't relate to your game, but I will say that its really cool of you to share this story. I hadn't really thought about the actual experiences of sex work especially in someone who isn't comfortable with the type of things it exposes you to.
I hope you are better now. Though that probably isn't much consolation.
I feel like, something most people who have been some kind of trauma have felt the same in an specific part of this game.
The feeling of emptyness and also, "How can the world go on, how can the world keep spinning after I have experienced this"
I find myself thinking this too often since I live near my abuser and see him on the streets "How can he live knowing what he did? How can he look at me and not feel ashamed? how is he able to live a happy life without trouble when I still can't forget the fear I felt when it ended, a fear I still can't stop feeling anytime I think about it, why am I the only one who has to suffer for HIS actions?"
yet often the answer is... this world its putrid, in a extreme state of decomposition. And the only thing that can help us it our loved ones helping us to distract us from this fact, and try to live like nothing. To be distracted from the bad thoughts and keep pushing.
And for all my victims here, I see you. And I'm sorry. You all deserved better, no one deserved what they went thru, no matter what they say, nothing justificates what you had to go thru. No one deserves it. I'm open for venting and hearing anyone, just feel free to text me anywhere.
Hey Tyler, I'm in a very bad state right now. I am not a sex worker but I am trans too, and some of the subjects of your game hit really close.
I really, really hope that you are in a better place now. I can't help but wonder if thigs have gone just a little bit different for you, guess those are the things we'll never know.
I do not know you personally, but I think I somehow connected with you through your game's messages. It was very nice to know that I do not feel these kinds of things alone in this world, even if we're very far apart and will never meet eachother.
That said, I also loved the artstyle; personal and cute, but also very crude.
I hope you can keep growing and overcoming every difficulty in your life, you definitely helped mine.
this is a really strange, honestly kind of evil thing to comment under someone's intense traumatic story. being a christian man doesn't mean you are allowed to be hateful, and say false compassions. reconsider what you choose to say and realize real kindness will bear sweet fruit.
There are many valid criticisms to sex work inherently due to its origin in exploitation, which is an incredibly nuanced topic that can't be defined as entirely good nor entirely bad.
However, being trans is a quality that is fundamentally a part of a person. It's understandable to have someone dislike their parents because they don't accept a part of them. In my experience, it feels like when your parents say they love you and care about you, they love and care about the idea of you as their child. Not accepting a core part of you, I feel, is fair grounds to dislike your parents. The way I see it is they don't love the person you are, but rather the child that you aren't anymore.
So I think it's harmful to say that this game is an argument against being transgender. It's a real experience and the issues that incite the initial need to go into sex work is because transitioning is expensive and typically looked down on in society. Regardless, the idea that a game is an argument against being transgender is just like, not accurate. It is a real life story of real issues and experiences that trans people go through. Just because trans people go through problems and issues that connect to being trans, doesn't mean we should be "against" the idea of transness. It's a core part of who people are, you can't get rid of that. Framing it as a "bad" thing only hurts more people and creates desperate scenarios where people get into harmful situations that result in horrible trauma.
I played this a little while ago and I just wanted to say I hope that you are doing well after all that happened to you. Your story was so powerful and I am glad I discovered this
If anybody is looking for more information about sex work and wants to better understand the material realities of it, please read this article. I hope the dev, and each of you reading this are doing okay.
i know it’s an autobiographical piece but i hope it’s okay to say that i feel seen.
thank you so much for making this. alongside the positivity our community places around sex work it’s so incredibly important to start conversations like these and speak candidly as this does. i really hope this can bring more attention to the importance of that
I'm trans in the opposite direction, but I've had similar experiences. It's impossible to talk about, because of the shame and the feeling that it was all my fault, that I chose to do it. This game was like a mirror for me. Knowing that other people have this experience of shame and blaming themselves and still are able to accept that it was traumatizing was just so validating. I definitely cried while playing it, and wrote down some of my favorite quotes. Thank you so much for making this, and I'm sorry. I wish healing and happiness for you.
I'm compelled to write this to hopefully help, but I'm not sure if it feels condescending or redundant. I don't share an experience like the game's, just some relatively minor sexual trauma. Worried that my perspective is unhelpful as a result. But I think the potential for a positive effect makes this worth posting anyway. Sorry if this is unhelpful (and for how late this reply is).
For circumstances like the game depicts, I don't think it's accurate to view this kind of thing as a choice that someone made. Personal or impersonal, there's a lot of coercion going on which warps consent. Having the choice between dysphoric misery and a chance at change isn't much of a choice, especially if there's an influence like Sally to "softly onboard" someone, convince them that it'll be fine. Doesn't mean accountability doesn't exist, but 100% lucid decisionmaking is far from a given in a tumultuous life. Desperation and fear and exploitative systems can and do coerce, and their blame should not be placed upon oneself. Be kind to yourself.
this is a beautifully made game. i wish i could find the right words to describe how i feel about it. all i can say is that it's a game that will stick with me. when the narration asks, "how could you let that happen to someone you love?" i could feel that pain. though the themes are heavy, i would definitely recommend this game to those who are able to handle it. there is pain and trauma here, but even within you telling the story there is strength. i hope you are doing better today, even just a little bit.
I can't put into words into how real this game is, it makes you feel real, but like you just walked into something you shouldn't have. 10/10 game, I've never felt so relieved to get a good ending in my life. It's eye opening.
I'm not trans and this game showed me again how hard some of you people have it. Thanks for showing me this harsh reality. I downloaded it for free at first because I just wanted to try some games out, but I'll pay now, because this experience was very important.
I'm probably a trans girl. I can't convince myself fully but... your games hurt. Brought me experiences I didn't know I needed: negative ones. In game form they are valuable. Yes it is upsetting. And it is okay to acknowledge that. It is important to remember what happens that shouldn't.
"Whatever happens, I'm not scared. I'll learn from everyone's mistakes and make some of my own. Maybe big ones. That's okay. That's good."
I actually typed that?! HA. Of course I'm scared. Not of big things, adult me can deal with those. But I'm scared of rejection, disbelief, being wrong. But whatever. I'll figure it out in my own messy way. That's enough.
Even if you don't make more games, what you have done for me, for everyone is wonderful. You make the world maybe a bit better. So thank you. Thank you for making games.
i have little to no memory of what happened, but i do remember that i was sex trafficked from ages 10-13. i remember what happened between me and a guy named anthony. he was really painful.
i don't know what to make of it. i'm hypersexual, a stoner, and absolutely fucking ruined.
i feel like talking about this makes me an attention seeker and a liar. i can still feel their touch but i dont feel dirty. my mind and my body dont align. my body makes me feel like i wanted it but my mind is screaming no. i'm still sexually active. i'm a fucking people pleaser. i hate it.
anyway sorry about the venting afhanjmkv yeah ilya <33333333
I'm so sorry you went through all of that. It wasn't your fault. I can't even imagine how hard it is living with the aftermath of that horrible experience, but I really hope you're doing better since you wrote this. Eventually, you will be okay.
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this was a really interesting medium to portray such a story in, it makes the whole thing feel very intimate. i dont think i have the language for how i felt playing this. thank you, this will stay with me for a while.
for how simple the graphics and the structure of the game was, it's incredibly in-depth.
im sorry you experienced the world like this.
thank you for making this and sharing your experiences i hope you heal from the things that you've been through
It doesn't really matter what my views are on this game or your story, in the end, you were hurt, badly hurt, by the disgusting desires of men, by the broken system of capitalism, everything was pitted against you and it broke you.
To feel nothing, to want to feel pain, to not know if it was even rape you experienced, all these things are devastatingly underwhelming results of any kind of sexual abuse. The human mind is fragile, when it comes to sex, most animalistic men think of it as a fucking game, like some kind of arcade where all you do is score points and get highscores or some shit, but in reality the human mind seriously questions all the implications of sex, and this level of corruption and mysoginy and barbarism, followed by the most dystopian normalization of it, it is too much for the human mind.
I hope you are doing better.
i played this on my snes with super gameboy. i was testing different indie games to see how they look on real hardware, but only this one i completed or remember.
a form of interactive diary that wouldn't hit the same with a different subject. much more than just a song or a script or some scribbles, this is a truly new style of self-expression.
thank you for being you
god i dont know how to describe how i feel into words after playing this im afab but i identify as genderless not that that matters but weve experienced the same thing in different ways playing this made me feel seen im sorry you had to go through what you did i hope your safer and happier now
This one will sit with me for a while. Thank you for making this. Edit: Got a lot of thoughts but I think that if I try to share them it'll just end up being a wall of text, so I'll just say: Thank you for making this. I was inherently opposed to sex work before this due to knowing how many people who do it are SA survivors and this didn't exactly make me more positively inclined towards it.
"Ouch my Identity" a game. GG
I can totally relate to Sally before she came back. I've been through family conflict trauma, with lots of unslept days of battle. Trying to find even an hour of sleep during christmas to new year battle with knife in hand. My older brother drug and porn addict, my both parents total alcoholics.
At the same time I was bullied in elementary school and more than bullied in middle school. 1v10 I would say.
I went into sex working once at 17 then a few times at 18 but my conservative mind told me to develop skills and don't do it just to live like a vegetable, but to grab an oportunity and leave it as soon as possible. I had boundaries that I only do blowjob and maybe receive one. Nothing less, nothing more. 2 years later (1 year after high school) I started to earn the same money per hour as technician as I did for blowjobs. I followed paths of stoicism and taoism. Nothing can hurt me anymore, even breakup with the girlfriend I got at 19yrs who saved me from my family and will help me create a new one. Still, I sometimes desire going an easy path of getting money through sex or getting transitioned and live like I always wanted to, but then I realize, repent and leave, knowing that it's a fake temptation. Now I begin to heal my family, but I know it's a long path. Probably will never happen, but there is always hope
I also remember having same kind of emotional reactions at 6-12 years of age as you did in being grossed out and all or wanting more and more sugar. My brother also did but through his whole life (he is 30+ now). It always crosses my mind. My reaction was beating myself with full power or scrathing myself to blood, not leaving my body. Learn and improve. Reject fake emotionally enslaved freedom of action that average mind implies on you, embrace real freedom. Freedom of thought and thoughtful actions
That is my advice to you and anyone who maybe skipped this in life. Study at least 100h of philosophy, especially classical greek, roman, chinese books and then practice it for life
This wasn't what I was expecting but It's incredibly well-made. I hope you're doing okay Taylor and I wish you the best
This tore into my brain. Viciously touching. I hope you have all you can need now. I hope you feel more whole, take good care of yourself, and give yourself the space you need on hard days to handle this battle with patience. Best regards, Taylor.
That was really rough! I enjoyed the art and writing. Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable. I felt something.
I'll be honest. I didn't expect this when I first played this today.
I played some calm music as my background song, making it meaningful and heartbreaking.
... I can't express how many words I'm going to say as I type the words while slowly crying.
But I'll be honest again. It's a great game.
I hope you're doing great.
Thank you for making this, Taylor.
The way you used the medium of a minimalist walking simulator-style game to convey your experiences and the emotions you were feeling at the time was just... incredible. I felt gutted playing through this. I don't know how much the words of a stranger on the internet really mean, but this is a very powerful game, and I'm sorry that you've gone through all of this, and for how difficult and painful it's been to talk about it to others. I hope that creating this game has provided even a little outlet for processing everything, and I hope that things will only improve for you. You are always worthy of love.
I'm a young transfem with no traumatic experiences so I can't relate to your game, but I will say that its really cool of you to share this story. I hadn't really thought about the actual experiences of sex work especially in someone who isn't comfortable with the type of things it exposes you to.
I hope you are better now. Though that probably isn't much consolation.
i know its been a while since this was posted but i just want to say, i understand and i hope youre doing okay now
this is the kind of art that makes me feel like i've just looked directly into the artist's soul. thank you for sharing, i hope you're doing well
I feel like, something most people who have been some kind of trauma have felt the same in an specific part of this game.
The feeling of emptyness and also, "How can the world go on, how can the world keep spinning after I have experienced this"
I find myself thinking this too often since I live near my abuser and see him on the streets "How can he live knowing what he did? How can he look at me and not feel ashamed? how is he able to live a happy life without trouble when I still can't forget the fear I felt when it ended, a fear I still can't stop feeling anytime I think about it, why am I the only one who has to suffer for HIS actions?"
yet often the answer is... this world its putrid, in a extreme state of decomposition. And the only thing that can help us it our loved ones helping us to distract us from this fact, and try to live like nothing. To be distracted from the bad thoughts and keep pushing.
And for all my victims here, I see you. And I'm sorry. You all deserved better, no one deserved what they went thru, no matter what they say, nothing justificates what you had to go thru. No one deserves it.
I'm open for venting and hearing anyone, just feel free to text me anywhere.
Hey Tyler, I'm in a very bad state right now. I am not a sex worker but I am trans too, and some of the subjects of your game hit really close.
I really, really hope that you are in a better place now. I can't help but wonder if thigs have gone just a little bit different for you, guess those are the things we'll never know.
I do not know you personally, but I think I somehow connected with you through your game's messages. It was very nice to know that I do not feel these kinds of things alone in this world, even if we're very far apart and will never meet eachother.
That said, I also loved the artstyle; personal and cute, but also very crude.
I hope you can keep growing and overcoming every difficulty in your life, you definitely helped mine.
this is a really strange, honestly kind of evil thing to comment under someone's intense traumatic story. being a christian man doesn't mean you are allowed to be hateful, and say false compassions. reconsider what you choose to say and realize real kindness will bear sweet fruit.
There are many valid criticisms to sex work inherently due to its origin in exploitation, which is an incredibly nuanced topic that can't be defined as entirely good nor entirely bad.
However, being trans is a quality that is fundamentally a part of a person. It's understandable to have someone dislike their parents because they don't accept a part of them. In my experience, it feels like when your parents say they love you and care about you, they love and care about the idea of you as their child. Not accepting a core part of you, I feel, is fair grounds to dislike your parents. The way I see it is they don't love the person you are, but rather the child that you aren't anymore.
So I think it's harmful to say that this game is an argument against being transgender. It's a real experience and the issues that incite the initial need to go into sex work is because transitioning is expensive and typically looked down on in society. Regardless, the idea that a game is an argument against being transgender is just like, not accurate. It is a real life story of real issues and experiences that trans people go through. Just because trans people go through problems and issues that connect to being trans, doesn't mean we should be "against" the idea of transness. It's a core part of who people are, you can't get rid of that. Framing it as a "bad" thing only hurts more people and creates desperate scenarios where people get into harmful situations that result in horrible trauma.
There's something very wrong with you, as a person. Take care.
I played this a little while ago and I just wanted to say I hope that you are doing well after all that happened to you. Your story was so powerful and I am glad I discovered this
https://proletarianfeminist.medium.com/a-socialist-feminist-and-transgender-anal...
If anybody is looking for more information about sex work and wants to better understand the material realities of it, please read this article. I hope the dev, and each of you reading this are doing okay.
i know it’s an autobiographical piece but i hope it’s okay to say that i feel seen.
thank you so much for making this. alongside the positivity our community places around sex work it’s so incredibly important to start conversations like these and speak candidly as this does. i really hope this can bring more attention to the importance of that
genuinely moving. hope you know despite everything else that's happened, you've left something beautiful behind.
great game, thanks for sharing
No hate for sharing my opinion but the game looks ugly as all hell.
Trauma isn’t pretty to begin with.
you don't really get to tell other people how to feel about your shit opinions. You get hate. Keep it to yourself.
Well screw you for this pathetic comment.
your the only pathetic one here budd
Your existence is, not me.
I don’t want to see people argue on this game’s page.
Please be kind.
i love you all. please stay safe
it's something easy to say but hard to make people feel
So much love for the dev for sharing their story, more or less. I wish the happiest life for them.
I'm trans in the opposite direction, but I've had similar experiences. It's impossible to talk about, because of the shame and the feeling that it was all my fault, that I chose to do it. This game was like a mirror for me. Knowing that other people have this experience of shame and blaming themselves and still are able to accept that it was traumatizing was just so validating. I definitely cried while playing it, and wrote down some of my favorite quotes. Thank you so much for making this, and I'm sorry. I wish healing and happiness for you.
I'm compelled to write this to hopefully help, but I'm not sure if it feels condescending or redundant. I don't share an experience like the game's, just some relatively minor sexual trauma. Worried that my perspective is unhelpful as a result. But I think the potential for a positive effect makes this worth posting anyway. Sorry if this is unhelpful (and for how late this reply is).
For circumstances like the game depicts, I don't think it's accurate to view this kind of thing as a choice that someone made. Personal or impersonal, there's a lot of coercion going on which warps consent. Having the choice between dysphoric misery and a chance at change isn't much of a choice, especially if there's an influence like Sally to "softly onboard" someone, convince them that it'll be fine. Doesn't mean accountability doesn't exist, but 100% lucid decisionmaking is far from a given in a tumultuous life. Desperation and fear and exploitative systems can and do coerce, and their blame should not be placed upon oneself. Be kind to yourself.
this made me think of myself
this is a beautifully made game. i wish i could find the right words to describe how i feel about it. all i can say is that it's a game that will stick with me. when the narration asks, "how could you let that happen to someone you love?" i could feel that pain. though the themes are heavy, i would definitely recommend this game to those who are able to handle it. there is pain and trauma here, but even within you telling the story there is strength. i hope you are doing better today, even just a little bit.
very excellently made. i wish you the best
I can't put into words into how real this game is, it makes you feel real, but like you just walked into something you shouldn't have. 10/10 game, I've never felt so relieved to get a good ending in my life. It's eye opening.
relatable af. good game
I'm not trans and this game showed me again how hard some of you people have it. Thanks for showing me this harsh reality. I downloaded it for free at first because I just wanted to try some games out, but I'll pay now, because this experience was very important.
I'm probably a trans girl. I can't convince myself fully but... your games hurt. Brought me experiences I didn't know I needed: negative ones. In game form they are valuable. Yes it is upsetting. And it is okay to acknowledge that. It is important to remember what happens that shouldn't.
"Whatever happens, I'm not scared. I'll learn from everyone's mistakes and make some of my own. Maybe big ones. That's okay. That's good."
I actually typed that?! HA. Of course I'm scared. Not of big things, adult me can deal with those. But I'm scared of rejection, disbelief, being wrong. But whatever. I'll figure it out in my own messy way. That's enough.
Even if you don't make more games, what you have done for me, for everyone is wonderful. You make the world maybe a bit better. So thank you. Thank you for making games.
im 16 and transfeminine.
i have little to no memory of what happened, but i do remember that i was sex trafficked from ages 10-13. i remember what happened between me and a guy named anthony. he was really painful.
i don't know what to make of it. i'm hypersexual, a stoner, and absolutely fucking ruined.
i feel like talking about this makes me an attention seeker and a liar. i can still feel their touch but i dont feel dirty. my mind and my body dont align. my body makes me feel like i wanted it but my mind is screaming no. i'm still sexually active. i'm a fucking people pleaser. i hate it.
anyway sorry about the venting afhanjmkv yeah ilya <33333333
i kinda understand what you are going through, its oki I'm here for you :3 ill help and chat if you want me to
I'm so sorry you went through all of that. It wasn't your fault. I can't even imagine how hard it is living with the aftermath of that horrible experience, but I really hope you're doing better since you wrote this. Eventually, you will be okay.