He Fucked the Girl Out of Me.

This was really hard to finish but I'm glad I did.

I can't imagine how hard and painful it must have been to make this game and let people play it, let alone experience the things narrated in it. This game is the kind of art that leaves me uncapable of saying something meaningful, so i'll just say that I sincerely wish you happiness.

i played the game all the way through and well...

i feel empty. part of it might be a sort of emotional disconnect from viewing a life far away from mine. part of it might be because of the themes of this game.

one thing i can relate to a little is the messages on the website (i forgot the name of it already) but i've seen some things on another site (which i will not disclose) which while are not quite as severe but remind me of some of those messages.

other than that i don't have much to say other than i hope you're doing alright.

was i sincere with that last sentence or was i just unconsciously morally obligated to say that? i'm not sure. morality is a little weird for me.

You've made something that stands out, this made me feel things that I've never felt before and this piece of art will inspire others to make things as sublime as this. I hope you've found solace and some form of peace. Thank you for making this.

I had to push myself to play this game. There was so much here that made me feel uncomfortable, knowing that how I was feeling was a pale reflection of what you felt. 

I was so happy to see the epilogue pop up, to know that it was nearly over. Throughout the game, you explain how you didn't have a story or a film moment, a moment where everything slotted into a neat narrative structure, no act breaks or montages. But you gave it to us, so we could experience your story without being left in limbo. I hope that by making this game, you've managed to continue on this path out of that place. 

I wasn't sure what to expect, but I grew weaker every moment and thought I wouldn't be able to finish it. This is pretty heavy... thank you for sharing this with us. Good things will happen, better days, weeks, months and years will come. Sending lots of luv xx

This is a really powerful game, using its storytelling and visual themes very effectively to communicate about your trauma. I'm glad you are in a place to make this game. Thank you.

(Finishing comment, since i wrote the first part late)

I think the simple but strong visual language of this game is a perfect pairing for communicating about your trauma. It's clear what you want to say: not condemnation of SW or even of particular people (at least, not as a focus even for the john), but just an honest conversation with the viewer about your trauma. The way it intertwines with familial trauma and poverty. I can't imagine making this was easy for you, and I hope that making it and seeing it impact viewers and yourself helps you. I believe you deserve it. Again, thank you. Please be safe and be kind to yourself.

Thank you for sharing this story and making this game, your story telling is great and this game surely had its impact on me. It was quite hard to play through but Im glad I did. Though it was just a small glimpse into your life I wish you the best and goodluck in your days to come. Truly a beautiful piece of work.

thank you for making this. i'm happy i played it. i also played Do I Pass? not too long ago and i gotta say you're really good at telling stories. this game is going to stick with me. you made something really special and i hope you're safe and doing well. 

By sharing this you are helping people. You are helping yourself. You are being yourself. You will live with this forever, but you will live. Just keep on living. 

I played it. I didn't feel much but that's on me. I think you worry too much but that's also on me. I'd tell you it was nice but I guess it really wasn't, it's yours and you told it and i believe that's what matters. Good luck with everything, maybe everything will turn out alright.

thank you for making this story

I completed the game. I hear you. You have released this game and the world has not crumbled around you. People are experiencing it to the end and listening. More people will do so, and the world will not end. Best of luck to you in anything you do in the future.

This was incredible.

Thank you for sharing your story.

This is such a melancholy game. My heart hurts for you. I'm glad you were able to tell your story, because it's a story that deserves to be told. Both for yourself, and for everyone else who is still building up the strength to do it.

The interactive components push the storytelling medium to immerse the player emotionally in such a seamless way. This had such a different impact and catharsis than if it were presented as an essay.

Thanks for sharing that vulnerable slice of your innermost self with us.

This game.
I don't even know what to say.
I'm still coming out of my own dissociation, but it's ok if I don't know what to say because there are no words that can describe how impactful this game is. 

I'm not even trans, I'm a young early 20s cis guy. 
But this hit. It hit really hard.

[A note to the creator of the game, in case you don't read my entire ramblings because I wouldn't blame you. I didn't expect to run through my trauma like that.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for the game. For the experience. It's not about me, not for me, but it helped me. I hope making it helped/helps you too. Thank you for everything, and that's not a thanks you have to accept. I don't want to put that pressure on you. 

It's a great game, and I'm cheering you on.
You are a person and that's more than enough for me.

For some, it's not easy being a person, but you most certainly are.
I won't say you're a good person, nor a bad person. That's for you to decide for yourself on your own terms, but I will say, you are a person, and that's beautiful.]



[Trigger Warning and Spoilers Past this Point]
When I got to the inbox sections, I stopped and shared with everyone I know I could share it with, including a bunch of trigger warnings and what not but I felt like I needed to share. It wasn't my story, but at parts, it felt like it was. That's terrifying. 

I paused the 2nd time at the stairs.
Those stairs.
Door unlocked.
Quiet Empty Apartment.
Way too clean.
Way more expensive than my family could afford.
Darkness, but just enough to see.

I won't go any further than that. 
But...
I was 17 then for 2 more months.
I still held onto the concept of virginity.
I'd been catfished on Facebook, and I knew the warning signs, but it was 1-2 AM and I wasn't being rational.
I don't even think I was that horny.
They paid for my Uber.
The driver was really nice.
When they drove me back I'd imagined the silly idea of the one cab driver who picks you up all the time and becomes a friend who can get you where you need to go. "I'm Johnny on the spot" like in GTA V.
I never saw them again.
I stopped responding on Facebook days later.
When I got home I had the audacity to tell my Mother nothing and that everything was ok; she was there when I left. She was worried but she trusted me. 
My Mom works really early in the morning.
I went to sleep for as long as I could before school the next day.
Just like in the game.
I didn't feel traumatized.
I didn't feel like anything changed, just another school day.
I didn't tell anyone I'd 'lost my virginity'
I didn't. I kept it close to me and I never let go it was MINE.
I remained a virgin until my 22nd birthday. 
And yet it wasn't as awkward as most first time stories, because it wasn't.
Not really.
Those stairs.
That dark room.
I didn't feel any pleasure.
I was frustrated because it.
Maybe there was a little, but it wasn't for me.
I never really saw them, it was too dark.
That was the point right?  
I was confused, dazed, and lost.
When they called themself the F word, not one I was familiar with.
I don't know if I knew then, or not. 
I feel like I should have, but I don't think I knew they weren't AFAB until my suspicions caught up to me, but at the same time I very well could have known and ignored.
I didn't know I was pansexual for two more years, polyamorous even
But back then, I was confused.
And then #MeToo happened. 
When I learned that consent can be taken BACK.
That the thing I agreed to was not what I agreed to, that it wasn't a choice I had made, no I made a different choice, and I got the wrong order.
13 Reasons Why happened, season 2 happened Tyler happened.
That scene where he stood up, other men and boys stood up alongside the women happened.
Where I wanted to stand too.
Where I was confused and said hurtful things to two close friends who'd had yet to come out to me, and I wouldn't blame them. 
When I'd finally revealed the details of what happened to me and they told me that when I'd mentioned it before, that they thought I had made it up. 
I don't even know why I would have, but it struck me.
I'm not the only one dealing with stuff that makes it hard to deal with others own 'stuff'.
My best friend in the 2 short years I went to college for free, took me to go pet cats at a shelter/animal therapy place across the highway next to campus after a Mental Health confession board was but up in the middle of the café and I had for the first time in three years; dissociation from that event, that's when I first accepted that I had PTSD.
Now, I'm ok.
It still haunts me, but it doesn't scare me.
It's not something I can't think about, even if uncomfortable.
Though, I still worry about not saying anything. 
That I let a predator go, that other people could be hurt the same way I had because I didn't speak up. 
I still haven't told my Mother, how could I?
My Mother is the sweetest, kindest, and most caring person on this planet and I know she's working through her own Trauma, for her to know, to tell her, would be me intentionally hurting her because I know it would hurt her. 
Forbidden knowledge that hurts those who knows it, then do not speak if you wish to protect the one's you care most about... Right?
I barely mentioned it to my girlfriend because I love her so much.
My sister knows I have some sort of trauma, and she has hers.
She respects me, and I return that in full even if never discussed aloud.
I think, I've said everything I needed to,
Thank you.

Thank you for making this game, it deeply affected me. I hope sharing your feelings and experiences with the world helps you.

Damn, what a game. The main character design is reminiscent of Oyasumi Punpun. I especially liked the Sally story-arc. That smile before going in is so captivating and horrifying at the same time. And a really well-written character in general, I'd like to see more of her, especially what happens in-between the time-skip to the mom's conversation.

i cant describe how haunting this is. everything about your art and your writing made this feel like a direct conversation. im sorry that you had to go through this.

thank you for sharing your story.

I can’t imagine how terrifying it must be to put something like this out there, let alone live through it. Thank you for telling your story.

I don’t know how to respond to playing your game.

I guess the most important thing is to let you know that, I did play it to the end, and it did emotionally affect me. I felt your pain and your suffering, even if just a fragment of them. I won’t forget this.

The things that happened to you are totally fucked up. Of course, you know this now.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to learn about your trauma.

I hope you do have a happy ending, because you deserve one.

an incredible game. the art is beautiful, and im amazed at how you made the gameboy mechanics so integral to the story...thank you sm for sharing, taylor, this is like nothing ive played before