Usually I try to write fairly detached and short reviews, but that just feels so wrong to do in this case. This game is a painfully authentic recollection of its creator's traumatic experiences of sex work. The aesthetic elements complement the narrative extremely well and the writing is outstanding - at least to the best of my understanding as someone without any personal experience of sex work.
While this story is in the specific context of the pre-Affordable Care Act USA, I've definitely known people with similar socio-economic situations and trauma in the UK too.This game helped me to better imagine the kinds of things that some of my friends (specifically, transfeminine people who have been sex workers) could have experienced, and how that might affect the rest of their lives.
I certainly will never think about gifts or money the same way ever again after playing this, and I'm grateful that I can now take a more trauma-informed approach to these topics in future.
The narrator takes care to distinguish the specific experiences under discussion as one individual's story, not something to be weaponised against sex work or sex workers in general. It felt like a very carefully considered piece of work all round, but especially in this regard.
There are no visually graphic sexual elements, though there are a few pixel-art representations of a character's upper body changes due to HRT which I suppose counts as mild nudity.
There is, of course, a lot of text covering the core theme of sex work. A substantial share is sexually explicit, but in a way that reinforces the key ideas of the narrative and/or relates the facts of a situation, not in a way intended to sensationalise or titillate.
For example, the inbox full of explicit messages from potential clients and timewasters is optional, but certainly gives those who choose to read it a powerful example of many gratingly dehumanising attitudes toward sex workers. I can attest that when I forced myself to read all of them (in an attempt to mirror the protagonist's experience of having to sift through them all) I could actually feel myself becoming slightly desensitised to the horror of it by the sheer volume of the messages. The fact that I technically could stop reading them, but the protagonist was compelled to by circumstance, made the removal of their agency hit even harder. This was an extremely effective design choice.
Similarly, the portrayal of the protagonist's first meetings with a client was written clearly enough to convey the facts of the situation, with details where they were necessary, but the writing focused mainly on the dissociation needed to get through it and the lingering psychological impact it had. This, in combination with the shifting visual design of the protagonist, did an incredible job of conveying the most relevant elements of the experiences under discussion.
The anguish of never being able to talk with people about these topics (due to the criminalisation of sex work and/or the need to suit a client's desired behaviours) was palpable in various dialogue sections. It made me feel furious about the laws and social attitudes that put the protagonist in such an awful position for their mental health.
I am really grateful that the creator made the decision to develop this game, as I can only try to imagine the number of people in similar situations who might see themselves reflected in it, and the number of poorly-informed people like me out there who can learn so much from it. Whoever you are, if you are capable of playing this game without it causing you harm then I strongly recommend that you do so.
I may only know your story through what you've chosen to share, but the vulnerability and honesty of this game really touched me. Your life and voice are so important and I'm thankful that you shared them.
thank you for sharing your game with us. while the gameplay and art style are unique, I think it's important to acknowledge the seriousness of trauma and the difficulty that comes with dealing with it. healing from trauma takes time, patience, and professional help, and it's not something that can be easily fixed.
I also think it's important to remember that blaming others for your mistakes is not a healthy way to deal with trauma. it's important to take responsibility for your own life and work towards changing your behavior while seeking the help you need to heal.
I hope that the main character in this game is able to find the help and support she needs to heal from her trauma. it's not an easy journey, but it's important to remember that she is not a pathetic little victim, but rather a strong individual who is brave enough to face her past and work towards a better future.
the title of this caught my eye while i was looking at the bundle - it was really impactful, and i hope you feel better for having made it. thank you for sharing your story, and i wish a comfortable recovery and trans joy for you.
The title sure got my attention and. Well. This was impactful and I’m glad I played through it. Thanks for sharing. I hope you’re in a better place now.
I just bought the Queer Games Bundle and this caught my eye while skimming over it, so I played through it. It was pretty tough to get through at a few points, but I’m glad you made it.
I just want you to know that I see you, and you deserve to be loved for who you are.
Congrats on the Japanese language release! It’s been a long time since I first commented on one of your games. I’ve been reading your interviews online about how you created your games, and I’m they are getting the recognition they deserve, despite being pushed down by capitalism as well as many of their players. The things you have created are important to me and they have truly helped me.
I appreciate that you are brave enough to create areas such as the therapist room, the FEED store, and the entire world of HFTGOOM that make people uncomfortable because they don’t follow the narratives of what is and what isn’t. Thank you for creating stories where the entire way they are is frowned upon, because they’re raw and they’re real and they make people feel real things. That’s important.
Based on the little I’ve heard about your next game, the concept is a good one. Stick with it. Please continue doing your best to make people feel things by defying their expectations. I’ll be here to play it when you release it, whether it takes a year or a decade.
I mean this sincerely. You are unique, and thank you for being you. Ugh that sounds so gushy.
I really don't know what to say, but this game is so important and valuable and brave that I can't just not say anything. As a cis straight man I really feel off field here but I think this game helped me understand so much about sex work, transgenderism and trauma. Thanks a ton to its creator, I can't thank you enough.
i just played few of your games, i dont have experience with sex work but i have been sa'd, this game felt comforting im intersex and transfem and something about this game made me feel understood
I found this game through an interview the dev did on her heartwrenching experience releasing it.
Taylor, I am so, so glad you went through with releasing this game. It must have been hard. It must have sucked to have backlash from all sides, especially from within the queer community--which is supposed to be a community that uplifts, but oftentimes fails and ostracizes. My heart goes out to you.
Thank you for telling this story. It gave me a lens to look at my own shit. It made me feel a little less alone. It's messy, it's full of nuance, and it's human. I love that. Thank you.
your game has made me think about many things. transitioning, my life choices in the past, present, and future. my views on love and sex, trauma and hate, and how those things are connected for me personally.
i think i needed this game, at this specific moment in my life.
When I saved the game I had an inkling of an idea about what this was about.
Even after knowing the triggers I decided to play it.
I haven't gone through the same experiences as you, but seeing them opened my eyes to a reality that left my heart heavy. I finished playing a few minutes ago and I'm sure I'll keep this game in my mind for a long time.
I hope wholeheartedly that you're doing better.
Even after a long comment I can't find the right words to express the things I wanna say so I'll just say
this game brought me to tears. even when i thought i could handle the topics, they still hit me hard. while i didn't go through the exact same thing as you, there's many parts of this story that resonate with me and the similar experiences i've had, and you did a wonderful job at putting these complex feelings into words. thank you
This game is touching in ways I can't fully described. I only turned 18 recently and to think others like myself have had to go through things like this is in order to live is,,, well I think you captured the emotions in your game quiet well.Simply said, I'll be thinking about this game for a long time to come. Thank you so much for making this game, it touched my soul. I hope it may have brought some peace to yours as well. I can't wait to see what else you may create as you clearly have much to offer to this world. Much love, in its purest form <3
Hello, my English is not very good so I'll go straight to the point. I am doing a project at my university about the theme "abuse", would you allow me to use your story in the project ? I will definitely cite your reference in it. I will respect your choices. Thank you!
I appreciate the effort that you have put into both this game and yourself. I just hope that fewer people have such experiences as time goes on. Making drastic decisions has been my biggest fear ever, and I have made a few, but even though society and my social circle approve these decisions it is still very scary for me. I don't think I can understand how you felt at the time, but I believe this game was as accurate a depiction as there can ever be. I hope you are even better now, and I hope we can transition into a society where people feel safe being themselves.
this game took the breath out of me. My stomach was in knots the entire time, I wanted to cry as I read every word.
S3xual trauma is complex, painful, and often treated as shame. We who experience s3xual trauma are told not to speak about it, not to seek help, not to seek peace because what happened was our fault, because no one can do anything about, because no one wants to do anything about it. This game made me think back on all of the relationships I've had, made me wonder if any of those relationships gave me pain that I wasn't even aware of.
It is insane to me how different yet similar our experiences are, but I found comfort in knowing that I am not alone with my confusion and broken experiences with s3x and intimate relationships.
I've been a s3x worker since I turned 18. It's only recently at 23 that I began wondering if the reason I chose to be a sex worker was because of all the fucked up things I've had to go through. I knew deep down it wasn't just for the money, though the money was great, but what you wrote about people wanting to punish or help sex workers really jumped out at me because I encounter SO FUCKING MUCH OF THAT that it has began to eat away at my very soul. I used to think I didn't care what people said or thought about me or what I did, I used to think that I had a lot of pride in what I do for people, I thought it made me feel sexy and beautiful and empowered but lately it's starting to feel more and more like I'm trying to convince myself of that instead of believing it because of all the vitriol and hatred I receive from strangers daily.
I hear you, I feel your pain, I am with you. I love you. Thank you for a great game.
As someone who worked in trauma advocacy using art as my main medium, I truly admire how effectively you wove this narrative. To take something so complex and make it not only understood, but creative and utilizing visuals and writing and gameplay in the best ways to communicate and enhance your vision...purely on a creator and artistic level, this is an incredibly made game.
There were points where I wanted to stop playing this. Not because of lack of quality, but because of the discomfort of real life. The discomfort of what you've experienced.
Other points I nodded along in a mutual understanding of pain and trauma.
I haven't been through things similar to this. But I wanted to hear you out, finish the game, even if I was uncomfortable at times, not at myself or you, or even the game. Just, at life.
As a trans guy, and as someone who has been through trauma, albeit in very different ways, I just want to say that, to some degree, in different ways, as a different person, I can understand how you feel. I don't fully. I never will. But I do understand some of it.
You made me realize something myself. I won't go into it here; this isn't about me or my revelations.
I don't really have anything to say. Cliche words and kind regards don't mean much when you hurt like that. When it's so deep in your mind that it takes years to unravel and slowly build to a place where you feel...okay.
I'm at a place where I feel fairly okay, where I feel proud of myself, and even then, I've come to realize that there's so much more to do, to be...well, okay.
It's long and slow and agonizing at times. But with each step...it does feel worth it, somehow. I still hurt a lot sometimes. I know you must too. I just hope that one day you will find yourself at a point where you can look in the mirror and feel so proud of yourself that you start crying. Where you can accept gifts without guilt, and where you can think of yourself and not feel the weight of everything looming behind you like an unspoken curse or a long forgotten, but not really, monster.
I keep writing more even though I keep thinking that I don't know what to say or how to word it. I have thoughts in my head, wordless ones, images and feelings, but they don't come out right into words. It feels stilted and hollow.
I guess the only thing I can really say is that I hope you get to a place where you feel okay. Not just okay, but really truly okay. Not getting by, not managing, but truly, honestly, okay. I don't know if that makes much sense, but it's the best I can do to word it.
I hope you nothing but good things in your future. Not because of what you've been through or anything you've done. Because of who you are. And who you are is deserving of goodness, in my opinion. Truly.
That's very kind of you. I can only try my best to show support and love for people I see suffering. I went through a lot of shit, very different shit, but shit nonetheless, in my life, and it's taken a lot to get to where I am today. And I'm still trying to get to what I can only describe as a "normal", consistently. Sometimes I'm there, sometimes, somedays, somehow, I end up slipping and I have to work to keep myself from falling back into a place I never want to be in again.
I know I'd want someone to say something like that when I was hurting back then. And again, it's not the same. It'll never be the same. But it's the best I can compare to, and the best I can do to even begin to comprehend someone else's pain.
Life's hard, as many know. I just know that somedays, when I was in a really bad place, a kind comment I read, sometimes not even directed at me, was all I could grasp onto in an effort to keep going. I can't claim to ever be the comment. I can only work to and try to help people hold on, because the idea that someone would suffer all that pain and never get to feel the genuine joy that I've gotten to feel, even for a second, is a thought I can barely bear. The thought that I might not have made it to this point is terrifying to me.
I hope you a wonderful day. And happy new year! :)
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Usually I try to write fairly detached and short reviews, but that just feels so wrong to do in this case. This game is a painfully authentic recollection of its creator's traumatic experiences of sex work. The aesthetic elements complement the narrative extremely well and the writing is outstanding - at least to the best of my understanding as someone without any personal experience of sex work.
While this story is in the specific context of the pre-Affordable Care Act USA, I've definitely known people with similar socio-economic situations and trauma in the UK too.This game helped me to better imagine the kinds of things that some of my friends (specifically, transfeminine people who have been sex workers) could have experienced, and how that might affect the rest of their lives.
I certainly will never think about gifts or money the same way ever again after playing this, and I'm grateful that I can now take a more trauma-informed approach to these topics in future.
The narrator takes care to distinguish the specific experiences under discussion as one individual's story, not something to be weaponised against sex work or sex workers in general. It felt like a very carefully considered piece of work all round, but especially in this regard.
There are no visually graphic sexual elements, though there are a few pixel-art representations of a character's upper body changes due to HRT which I suppose counts as mild nudity.
There is, of course, a lot of text covering the core theme of sex work. A substantial share is sexually explicit, but in a way that reinforces the key ideas of the narrative and/or relates the facts of a situation, not in a way intended to sensationalise or titillate.
For example, the inbox full of explicit messages from potential clients and timewasters is optional, but certainly gives those who choose to read it a powerful example of many gratingly dehumanising attitudes toward sex workers. I can attest that when I forced myself to read all of them (in an attempt to mirror the protagonist's experience of having to sift through them all) I could actually feel myself becoming slightly desensitised to the horror of it by the sheer volume of the messages. The fact that I technically could stop reading them, but the protagonist was compelled to by circumstance, made the removal of their agency hit even harder. This was an extremely effective design choice.
Similarly, the portrayal of the protagonist's first meetings with a client was written clearly enough to convey the facts of the situation, with details where they were necessary, but the writing focused mainly on the dissociation needed to get through it and the lingering psychological impact it had. This, in combination with the shifting visual design of the protagonist, did an incredible job of conveying the most relevant elements of the experiences under discussion.
The anguish of never being able to talk with people about these topics (due to the criminalisation of sex work and/or the need to suit a client's desired behaviours) was palpable in various dialogue sections. It made me feel furious about the laws and social attitudes that put the protagonist in such an awful position for their mental health.
I am really grateful that the creator made the decision to develop this game, as I can only try to imagine the number of people in similar situations who might see themselves reflected in it, and the number of poorly-informed people like me out there who can learn so much from it. Whoever you are, if you are capable of playing this game without it causing you harm then I strongly recommend that you do so.
I may only know your story through what you've chosen to share, but the vulnerability and honesty of this game really touched me. Your life and voice are so important and I'm thankful that you shared them.
Thank you for creating your game. I can't think of many expressive words right now, but I wish you joy, health, and many many comforts.
thank you for sharing your game with us. while the gameplay and art style are unique, I think it's important to acknowledge the seriousness of trauma and the difficulty that comes with dealing with it. healing from trauma takes time, patience, and professional help, and it's not something that can be easily fixed.
I also think it's important to remember that blaming others for your mistakes is not a healthy way to deal with trauma. it's important to take responsibility for your own life and work towards changing your behavior while seeking the help you need to heal.
I hope that the main character in this game is able to find the help and support she needs to heal from her trauma. it's not an easy journey, but it's important to remember that she is not a pathetic little victim, but rather a strong individual who is brave enough to face her past and work towards a better future.
the title of this caught my eye while i was looking at the bundle - it was really impactful, and i hope you feel better for having made it. thank you for sharing your story, and i wish a comfortable recovery and trans joy for you.
The title sure got my attention and. Well. This was impactful and I’m glad I played through it. Thanks for sharing. I hope you’re in a better place now.
I just bought the Queer Games Bundle and this caught my eye while skimming over it, so I played through it. It was pretty tough to get through at a few points, but I’m glad you made it.
I just want you to know that I see you, and you deserve to be loved for who you are.
it felt like i was going through a distorted nostalgic place again and again. I mean this positively.
This game helped me to better understand some things that my friend is going through and my own responses to it. Thank you for sharing your story.
I’ve revisited this game many times since I learned about it and it remains impactful every time. Definitely one of the most important titles ever.
I can't really process my thoughts on this due to my own experiences but, thank you for sharing. I hope this helped you, and I wish you the best.
Congrats on the Japanese language release! It’s been a long time since I first commented on one of your games. I’ve been reading your interviews online about how you created your games, and I’m they are getting the recognition they deserve, despite being pushed down by capitalism as well as many of their players. The things you have created are important to me and they have truly helped me.
I appreciate that you are brave enough to create areas such as the therapist room, the FEED store, and the entire world of HFTGOOM that make people uncomfortable because they don’t follow the narratives of what is and what isn’t. Thank you for creating stories where the entire way they are is frowned upon, because they’re raw and they’re real and they make people feel real things. That’s important.
Based on the little I’ve heard about your next game, the concept is a good one. Stick with it. Please continue doing your best to make people feel things by defying their expectations. I’ll be here to play it when you release it, whether it takes a year or a decade.
I mean this sincerely. You are unique, and thank you for being you. Ugh that sounds so gushy.
Thank you
I know how hard it is to open up about trauma, and I imagine it must be harder so when it's done through medium not often used to open up about it.
Damn, what a life story. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Thank you
I really don't know what to say, but this game is so important and valuable and brave that I can't just not say anything. As a cis straight man I really feel off field here but I think this game helped me understand so much about sex work, transgenderism and trauma. Thanks a ton to its creator, I can't thank you enough.
i just played few of your games, i dont have experience with sex work but i have been sa'd, this game felt comforting im intersex and transfem and something about this game made me feel understood
eeeh what did I just played
I think I should read description of games next time
Btw nice game, or not...
Whatever, you did a great job.
men scarred me and this made me feel seen. thank you for being vulnerable so that strangers feel less alone.
I found this game through an interview the dev did on her heartwrenching experience releasing it.
Taylor, I am so, so glad you went through with releasing this game. It must have been hard. It must have sucked to have backlash from all sides, especially from within the queer community--which is supposed to be a community that uplifts, but oftentimes fails and ostracizes. My heart goes out to you.
Thank you for telling this story. It gave me a lens to look at my own shit. It made me feel a little less alone. It's messy, it's full of nuance, and it's human. I love that. Thank you.
your game has made me think about many things. transitioning, my life choices in the past, present, and future. my views on love and sex, trauma and hate, and how those things are connected for me personally.
i think i needed this game, at this specific moment in my life.
thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing this, and congrats again on the GDC award nomination!
When I saved the game I had an inkling of an idea about what this was about.
Even after knowing the triggers I decided to play it.
I haven't gone through the same experiences as you, but seeing them opened my eyes to a reality that left my heart heavy. I finished playing a few minutes ago and I'm sure I'll keep this game in my mind for a long time.
I hope wholeheartedly that you're doing better.
Even after a long comment I can't find the right words to express the things I wanna say so I'll just say
Thank you.
this game brought me to tears. even when i thought i could handle the topics, they still hit me hard. while i didn't go through the exact same thing as you, there's many parts of this story that resonate with me and the similar experiences i've had, and you did a wonderful job at putting these complex feelings into words. thank you
This game is beautiful and so underated
This was quite the heavy read. Gonna process this for days.
This game is touching in ways I can't fully described. I only turned 18 recently and to think others like myself have had to go through things like this is in order to live is,,, well I think you captured the emotions in your game quiet well.Simply said, I'll be thinking about this game for a long time to come. Thank you so much for making this game, it touched my soul. I hope it may have brought some peace to yours as well. I can't wait to see what else you may create as you clearly have much to offer to this world. Much love, in its purest form <3
Hello, my English is not very good so I'll go straight to the point. I am doing a project at my university about the theme "abuse", would you allow me to use your story in the project ? I will definitely cite your reference in it. I will respect your choices. Thank you!
That is okay. Thank you for asking. Good luck with your project.
The silence is haunting, the game is beautiful.
I appreciate the effort that you have put into both this game and yourself. I just hope that fewer people have such experiences as time goes on. Making drastic decisions has been my biggest fear ever, and I have made a few, but even though society and my social circle approve these decisions it is still very scary for me. I don't think I can understand how you felt at the time, but I believe this game was as accurate a depiction as there can ever be. I hope you are even better now, and I hope we can transition into a society where people feel safe being themselves.
This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I hope you find peace and healing.
this game took the breath out of me. My stomach was in knots the entire time, I wanted to cry as I read every word.
S3xual trauma is complex, painful, and often treated as shame. We who experience s3xual trauma are told not to speak about it, not to seek help, not to seek peace because what happened was our fault, because no one can do anything about, because no one wants to do anything about it. This game made me think back on all of the relationships I've had, made me wonder if any of those relationships gave me pain that I wasn't even aware of.
It is insane to me how different yet similar our experiences are, but I found comfort in knowing that I am not alone with my confusion and broken experiences with s3x and intimate relationships.
I've been a s3x worker since I turned 18. It's only recently at 23 that I began wondering if the reason I chose to be a sex worker was because of all the fucked up things I've had to go through. I knew deep down it wasn't just for the money, though the money was great, but what you wrote about people wanting to punish or help sex workers really jumped out at me because I encounter SO FUCKING MUCH OF THAT that it has began to eat away at my very soul. I used to think I didn't care what people said or thought about me or what I did, I used to think that I had a lot of pride in what I do for people, I thought it made me feel sexy and beautiful and empowered but lately it's starting to feel more and more like I'm trying to convince myself of that instead of believing it because of all the vitriol and hatred I receive from strangers daily.
I hear you, I feel your pain, I am with you. I love you. Thank you for a great game.
As someone who worked in trauma advocacy using art as my main medium, I truly admire how effectively you wove this narrative. To take something so complex and make it not only understood, but creative and utilizing visuals and writing and gameplay in the best ways to communicate and enhance your vision...purely on a creator and artistic level, this is an incredibly made game.
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope everything is going well for you and I send you all my love.
... I don't know what to say but I hope the best come to you Thank You
There were points where I wanted to stop playing this. Not because of lack of quality, but because of the discomfort of real life. The discomfort of what you've experienced.
Other points I nodded along in a mutual understanding of pain and trauma.
I haven't been through things similar to this. But I wanted to hear you out, finish the game, even if I was uncomfortable at times, not at myself or you, or even the game. Just, at life.
As a trans guy, and as someone who has been through trauma, albeit in very different ways, I just want to say that, to some degree, in different ways, as a different person, I can understand how you feel. I don't fully. I never will. But I do understand some of it.
You made me realize something myself. I won't go into it here; this isn't about me or my revelations.
I don't really have anything to say. Cliche words and kind regards don't mean much when you hurt like that. When it's so deep in your mind that it takes years to unravel and slowly build to a place where you feel...okay.
I'm at a place where I feel fairly okay, where I feel proud of myself, and even then, I've come to realize that there's so much more to do, to be...well, okay.
It's long and slow and agonizing at times. But with each step...it does feel worth it, somehow. I still hurt a lot sometimes. I know you must too. I just hope that one day you will find yourself at a point where you can look in the mirror and feel so proud of yourself that you start crying. Where you can accept gifts without guilt, and where you can think of yourself and not feel the weight of everything looming behind you like an unspoken curse or a long forgotten, but not really, monster.
I keep writing more even though I keep thinking that I don't know what to say or how to word it. I have thoughts in my head, wordless ones, images and feelings, but they don't come out right into words. It feels stilted and hollow.
I guess the only thing I can really say is that I hope you get to a place where you feel okay. Not just okay, but really truly okay. Not getting by, not managing, but truly, honestly, okay. I don't know if that makes much sense, but it's the best I can do to word it.
I hope you nothing but good things in your future. Not because of what you've been through or anything you've done. Because of who you are. And who you are is deserving of goodness, in my opinion. Truly.
i had to make an account to say how beautiful this comment is
That's very kind of you. I can only try my best to show support and love for people I see suffering. I went through a lot of shit, very different shit, but shit nonetheless, in my life, and it's taken a lot to get to where I am today. And I'm still trying to get to what I can only describe as a "normal", consistently. Sometimes I'm there, sometimes, somedays, somehow, I end up slipping and I have to work to keep myself from falling back into a place I never want to be in again.
I know I'd want someone to say something like that when I was hurting back then. And again, it's not the same. It'll never be the same. But it's the best I can compare to, and the best I can do to even begin to comprehend someone else's pain.
Life's hard, as many know. I just know that somedays, when I was in a really bad place, a kind comment I read, sometimes not even directed at me, was all I could grasp onto in an effort to keep going. I can't claim to ever be the comment. I can only work to and try to help people hold on, because the idea that someone would suffer all that pain and never get to feel the genuine joy that I've gotten to feel, even for a second, is a thought I can barely bear. The thought that I might not have made it to this point is terrifying to me.
I hope you a wonderful day. And happy new year! :)
Not much I could say, that wouldn't be making the experience about myself. I hope you continue to let yourself feel loved.